


Light Speed Dating

by Herminbean



Series: Doctor Doctor [8]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (1963), Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Crossover, Gen, Humor, Multiple Doctors (Doctor Who), One Shot, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-30
Updated: 2019-09-30
Packaged: 2020-11-08 09:53:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20833511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Herminbean/pseuds/Herminbean
Summary: The Doctor is subjected to dating, much to his annoyance. He might not find love, but he might find something more unexpected.





	Light Speed Dating

**Author's Note:**

> So I've really enjoyed writing these Doctor crossover stories with the 13th Doctor, and I had a plan of where this story was going. However, given the latest series of the show, I think I'll be stopping. I really dislike the latest reveal of the Doctor's past and it has thrown a spanner in this story. I could continue as if it didn't happen and isn't real, but I'm not really sure. Sorry for those who are following these stories, thank you for the wonderful comments

It is said that as something falls into a black hole it passes by a point of no return. This is called the event horizon. Not even light can escape this boundary. It sucks in everything, even the concept of time itself. As an object falls past this event horizon, from the perspective of a distant observer, it will slow down to a crawl, until eventually coming to a complete stop. 

“Excuse me, what are you doing?”

It was this information that led to the Doctor to stand on his chair and study the clock on the wall closely. 

“Black hole. Must be. There’s no other explanation as to how these seconds are going by so slow.” The Doctor turned to the source of the question. “Either that, or it’s you.”

The source frowned angrily. “Did anyone ever tell you that you’re incredibly rude?”

“No, never.” The Doctor hopped down from his chair, dragging it back to the table in the middle of the room. He slumped down and sighed deeply.

“Listen, I just want to ask you a few questions. Have you…?”

“Had a good time?” The Doctor snorted in derision. “Out of all the dullards I’ve encountered today, I will say you are one of the more bearable.”

The source crossed her arms indignantly. “Wish I could say the same.”

That got his attention. For the first time, he flicked his eyes towards the source. She certainly seemed strong willed. Through all of his badgering, she didn’t break once. She just stared at him with defiance. If she wasn’t the type of person to sign up willingly to this torture, she might just make a passable companion. 

She cleared her throat. “Now, have you seen anything…” she searched her mind for the right word. “…odd?”

The Doctor chuckled. “Odd? Really had to rummage through the old brain for that word, eh?”

The lady slammed her fist on the table, filling the room with a dull thud. “Just tell me, you unbearable man.”

Humans. So quick to anger. The Doctor sometimes forgot that. He looked her dead in the eyes as his face fell serious. “Actually, I did see..” He looked over his shoulders and leant in closer. “…one very odd thing.”

The lady looked around and leant in closer. “Yeah?”

“Yes.” The Doctor shot out of his chair suddenly and paced up to the clock on the wall. “Seriously, this is some kind of time displaced clock or something.”

He looked back at the lady with a smirk. She had thrown up her hands in frustration. “You’re impossible. I don’t think I’ve met anyone as pig headed as…”

“Can I just stop you right there?” The Doctor butted in.

A silence filled the room. The lady looked at him expectantly. The Doctor looked back, blankly. Her face crumpled, impatiently.

“What?”

“Oh, nothing, just wanted you to stop.”

The lady stood up angrily. “You…”

And just like that, she was gone. The Doctor looked up at the clock as it flashed 0:00 at him. He let out a sigh of relief. Another one down. He had to be near the end by now. 

_We hope you enjoyed that date, paying customer._

A voice filled the room. The Doctor shuddered. Not again. After every date, this damn recording would say the same thing.

_If you are interested in meeting your date in real life, please press the button, now._

The button on the table flashed up as usual. The Doctor ignored it, as usual.

_We must remind you that any dates experienced outside of this company will be separate from our services and any harm or heartbreak will not be our responsibility._

Why had Mel dragged him here? What was she expecting, for him to find the “love of his life” in some random encounter with some arbitrary time period given to them?

_Your next date will be transferred in 5…_

Speed dating. Such nonsense.

_4…_

What the Doctor would give to have an enemy pop in to chase him for a while.

_3…_

Daleks.

_2…_

Cybermen.

_1…_

Heck, he’d even take…

“Oh, you have got to be kidding me.”

The Doctor spun around. Sitting in the chair was a blonde lady. The look on her face was a mixture of annoyance, intrigue, and fear. The Doctor, however, was more thrown off by her choice of opening line. 

“Excuse me? Do you have a problem with the way I look?”

The lady looked him up and down. “I mean, I’m on the fence. Sort of nostalgic about it, sort of cringing out of my boots.”

Who on earth did she think she was? “I’ll have you know this is the face that is etched through time and space.”

“Well,” She shrugged “partly, perhaps.”

The Doctor waved her off. “What do you know? Now, if you’ll excuse me.” He grabbed his jacket, throwing it on with a flourish. “There must be some way out of this room.”

He strolled up to the door, feeling around the edges. He had tried once before, but this was getting unbearable now. He had to find a way to escape. 

The sound of chuckling caught his attention. He turned to see the lady grinning at him.

“Something amusing to you?”

The lady covered her mouth, trying to hide her mirth. “Just admiring your coat, Zippy.”

The Doctor looked down. His jacket flowed around him, giving off the usual confident aura he was so proud off.

“What about it?” He snapped at her.

“Oh, nothing. I forgot that I used to like dressing up like a human conglomerate.”

“Now listen here, it’s not my fault you lost your sense of fashion. After all, you’ve got a bit of colour there yourself.” He pointed at the rainbow dashed across her top.

“You’re right, this little thing here is totally comparable to your eyesore.” The lady rolled her eyes. “Ever heard of subtlety?”

“Ha, I wrote the book on subtlety. I’d show you, but it’s very hard to find.” He smirked at his own joke. Sometimes even he was surprised by his own wit. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I…”

It hit him like an out of control TARDIS. It went by so fast; he didn’t have time to absorb it until now. Something the lady had said echoed in his head, and ricocheted around clinging onto information, forming one answer.

“You used to dress like this?” He asked, slowly.

“Unfortunately.” The lady checked her nails, nonchalantly.

“You’re…?”

“Oh yes.”

The silence swam back into the room as the two Doctors stared each other down. The Doctor removed his coat and walked slowly back to his chair. He slid into it and squinted at the new Doctor in front of him.

“Well,” He cleared his throat. “this is awkward.”

“That’s one word for it.” The new Doctor leant back in her chair.

“What are you doing here.” The Doctor wrinkled his nose in disgust. “Oh no, please don’t tell me I turn into someone who ENJOYS this kind of thing?” 

The new Doctor flipped her chair back on all fours and leant forward. “If by this kind of thing you mean investigating anomalies, you very much do.”

“Anomalies? Here?” The Doctor gave a short laugh. “I wish. That would liven this place up a little.”

“Oh, there certainly is an anomaly here. The second I landed; the TARDIS detected some kind of temporal disturbance. Had to take a look around. You know how it is.”

The Doctor gave a knowing nod. At least it would seem he kept his sense of investigation. That was something.

“So, we started by trying to source information from the locals. And what better way to gather information…”

“…than a date, yeah, I get it.” He leant forward eagerly. “So, found anything so far.”

“You mean, something abnormal?”

“Yes.”

“Something that shouldn’t be?”

“Exactly.”

“Something, for a wild example, the same person in the same place at the same time?”

The Doctors looked at each other, the new waiting patiently for her younger self to catch up. It didn’t take long, but longer than she hoped. Was she still capable of being this oblivious?

“Aah, right.” The Doctor leant back in his chair. “Another mystery solved.”

“Yeah, but not the problem.” The new Doctor stood up and looked around the room. “We need to get out of here.”

“Why?”

“I really don’t remember being this slow, honestly.” She motioned to them both. “Two of us in the same room for too long cannot be good.”

“But, we’re not in the same room.”

Once again, the silence let itself in. The new Doctor stared at her younger self. His face was doing that smug look she used to be so fond off. Honestly, she had to let him have that one, he had a point. She’d be damned if she was going to let him know that though. As casually as she could muster, she plopped herself back in her chair.

“So, what do you suggest? We just…have a date?”

“Could do worse.” The Doctor smirked. “At least the conversation should be on my level.”

“Don’t flatter yourself. I’ve got 2,000 years of learning on you.” The new Doctor said smugly.

“That far ahead, are you?” The Doctor said, trying to hide his excitement.

The new Doctor looked up in thought. “Maybe. It’s hard to keep track.” She smiled at him. “I don’t need to tell you.”

“No, you don’t. Must say, not looking too bad for regeneration…” He motioned to her for an answer.

“Thirteen.”

“Thirteen?” The Doctor frowned. “You look remarkably un-valeyard-ish.”

“Aah, yeah.” The new Doctor furrowed her brow. “Bit of confusion over that. In fact, bit of confusion over the whole “thirteen” thing if I’m being honest.”

The Doctor waved a dismissive hand. “Doesn’t matter. You’re a vast improvement on that old killjoy.”

“Why thank you.” She smiled brightly at him. “Sorry about the dig at your jacket.”

The Doctor stroked his jacket. “That’s OK. Not many people can get their head around this much sophistication.”

“You’ve got that right.” The new Doctor gave him a thumbs up. “You do you.”

The Doctor raised an eyebrow. “Erm, I will.”

The new Doctor leant on the table. “My mind is a bit fuzzy on this stage of my life. I mean, it kind of has to be. I forget though, why an earth did you come here? This really isn’t our scene, maybe yours least of all.”

The Doctor smirked at her. “Do you remember the exercise bike, and carrot juice?”

Her face scrunched up as the memories flooded back to her. “You know, I had just got the taste out of my mouth. That Mel.”

“That Mel indeed.”

“Has she got you the Shake Weight yet?”

“The what?”

“Never mind.” The new Doctor smiled to herself. “I do miss that nutty fire headed girl.”

The Doctor snorted. “I find that hard to believe.” He did his best to hide the worry. With every companion, the worry was always there. The inevitability. It was best to not think about it.

Fortunately, in about 2,000 years’ time, he managed to distract himself.

“Listen, we’ve got to work out our exit strategy.” The new Doctors face fell serious. “We have to make sure we don’t bump into each other accidentally after all this is over.”

“Oh, I don’t know. Might be quite nice to catch up.” The Doctor joked, giving a smirk.

The new Doctor did not smile back. “No, we need to get out of here as fast as possible.”

The face was different, but the look was the same. Something was wrong. The Doctor meeting himself was always an issue, but time was usually at least semi lenient. Not wanting to meet up at all, either this new Doctor was overly dramatic, or something was amiss. And she did not exactly seem like the serious type. There weren’t many scenarios that would make them act like this.

“How much?” He asked, his tone serious.

“At this point?” She scrunched up her face. “I’d say at the point to be concerned.”

“How much?” He repeated himself with a harsher voice.

“Oh,” The new Doctor counted on her fingers. “about seven.”

“Seven?”

“Oh, and you. Eight.”

The Doctor tried to process that number. “In how short a time?”

“Look, I’m working on it.” She gave an unconvincing smile.

“Working on it? You know what’s at stake. What this could mean. If this continues…”

“Can I just stop you right there?”

The Doctor stopped his train of thought, looking at his future self. She stared at him blankly. He tapped his foot impatiently. This was infuriating. What did she want to say? 

Suddenly, like a second out of control TARDIS, it hit him. He looked over at the clock as it flicked to 0:01. He had just enough time to turn angrily back to her smirking face. 

“You…” And she was gone.

_We hope you enjoyed that date, paying customer._

That sneaky Dalek. This was serious. They had to talk it over.

_If you are interested in meeting your date in real life, please press the button, now._

He froze. He could meet her. He just had to press the button. But it was risky. Then again, so was leaving it up to her.

_We must remind you that any dates experienced outside of this company will be separate from our services and any harm or heartbreak will not be our responsibility._

The Doctor hovered his hand over the button. She couldn’t do this alone. She needed his help.

_Your next date will be transferred in 5…_

Although, she did seem to have the glint in her eye.

_4…_

The look he had seen before.

_3…_

The glint that said she wouldn’t stop.

_2…_

She had this.

_1…_

The Doctor smiled to himself as he slid his hand away from the button. She had this. They had this. He just had to give it some time. He just had to trust her. Even though her top was ridiculous. She had this.

A cough brought him back to the room. His new date was sitting in front of him. A grey-haired man who looked a little bewildered to be there. He looked the Doctor up and down.

“Erm,” the man searched for something to say. “I like your coat.”

The Doctor smiled. There might just be something to this speed dating after all.


End file.
